A Consciousness
It such a long time ago since the last time I posted my last medium poems. And this is my first kind of realization story here. So much time has passed since 2016… and today’s September of 2020. I don’t know why I feel like I have to explain what happened during the past 4 years, at least in one sentence, there have been so many things going on in my life that have made me experience slight changes, or I can say I’ve been growing so much because thankfully, these changes lead to something that better :)
it wasn’t 4 years that went very smoothly. In fact, there are so many problems that I can say feels like ranging from small pebbles to a huge punch right at my face. Til the wave of problems that is quite heavy for me that I have to go through in a quite long time.
But I won’t tell you much about it, because no matter how I describe it, anyone will still look at it objectively. I mean, it may look hard on the public eye, but actually, it can be really hard for someone else or just nothing for someone else. A problem will sound normal and ordinary until it comes to ourselves. So let me just mention the fact that, yes, I have made it through and I am’ still alive!
So there are a few things that I realize when I’m facing a problem, which is also helping me through it. Well, it doesn’t solve my problem like ‘something do-your-magic!’ but rather provides a good base of thoughts for me so that I can deal with the problem more wisely.
We are All Imperfect
Yup, we’re all imperfect. I’m imperfect, my life is imperfect. There will always be flaws in something, not even one can be sure that something is perfect, except God, of course. God is the only one that is perfect. I have to realize that it’s okay to do mistakes a lot of times… to fail. I have to lower my expectations of myself. Because of what, because I am the one who puts down and doubts myself the most if I feel that I am a failure and that is very bad. IN FACT, failure only happens when I stop trying and too busy crying ;_;
I have to realize that life isn’t ideal. I am not perfect, and it’s normal to make mistakes.
by the way, of course, there is nothing wrong with crying, you even have to cry if it’s necessary…
Life is how we see it .. sometimes we expect too much so life looks very, very cruel. I know this sounds cliché and mainstream. But everything happens for a reason.
I once read a quote from the practical theory of stoics. Marcus Aurelius said that we should have to rid ourselves of many useless things among those that disturb us; for they lie entirely in our imagination; and we will then gain for ourselves ample space by comprehending the whole universe in our mind, and by contemplating the eternity of time, and observing the rapid change of every part of everything, how short is the time from birth to dissolution, and the illimitable time before birth as well as the equally boundless time after dissolution.
feel concerned?
This is a first method called ‘A View From Above’ from Marcus Aurelius, there are 3 methods in total, maybe you can read it yourself here, or maybe sometime I will write a post about this.
So the point of this is, that the universe has arranged the course of this life. We have to look broadly, therefore Marcus says ‘from above’, we have to zoom out ourselves and increase the magnitude until the maximum point til’ we can see the earth from the stars. so that we will see our life in this world is very small and our time in this world is very short. And when we compared our problems to the universe, it automatically might appear incredibly trivia.
Not that I’m an expert practical stoic now...heheh. But I will always try to be even more positive. I’ll love myself even more and never doubt myself ever again. I’ll go through my process as the best I can do, and will always remember that it’s okay not to be okay.
